A healthy distrust
by Bisa
Summary: What went on inside of Sharon's head during The Host?  Was her reaction to Wanda really that unreasonable given what she knew about the Souls?  Angsty microfic - I might spin it off later into something longer.


**A/N Stephenie Meyer owns The Host, not me.**

A healthy distrust

**A/N I don't think there are **_**any**_** Sharon POV fics, and I felt she got a bad rap. Wanda would have been **_**eerie**_** to be around if you knew Mel, especially in the early chapters.**

One of the bugs is living in the caves with us. It's wearing my cousin's body, defiling her memory and using everything she knew to spy on us.

_Wanda_. That's what they're calling it now.

It's plotting something. But I can't figure out what it wants, or how it thinks, or how it plans to hurt us. There must be a reason it came alone, but for the life of me I can't figure out what it is.

Its frightening, how fast it turned everyone to its side. It got Jeb right off the bat, and Jamie almost as quickly.

I can understand Jamie and Jared being conflicted - it has all of Mel's memory, all her habits, everything that made her _her_. Mel practically raised Jamie, and from what Jared says it almost killed him when he realized she was gone. I can understand that he's willing to believe that something of Mel was left behind.

Jamie's so naive; if it told him Mel's still alive inside it, he'd believe it. It hurts to see what's left of her; I know were she could talk she'd tell us to put her down so she couldn't be used to hurt us.

But she can't talk, and Jeb says that if anyone other than Jared or Jamie kills her, he'll kick them out. I really hope she's not conscious; I can't imagine what it would be like to be trapped inside, screaming while your body is used to hurt others.

I'm a coward. Somebody needs to kill the thing, _yesterday_, but I know that doing so would be certain death. Even if I would be saving everyone's worthless lives, I can't bring myself to do it.

It's terrifying to think how much it knows already. Jeb's leading the thing around, giving it a tour of the place like it's some kind of guest! Like it's a friend! It knows the entire layout of the caves, how we live, it _probably_ knows where we raid, and it knows the names and faces of everyone who lives here. If it ever escapes, we're all done for.

If it weren't for his eyes, I'd think he's been infested. Maybe Mom's right. Maybe he is losing it. He's pretty old, and our family has a history of Alzheimer's; perhaps he's not processing the gravity of the damage to out community he's causing.

I can't tell, either way. Every time I ask him him what the hell he thinks he's doing, he laughs and waves off my concerns. "Boiling frogs," he says, laughing at me.

I didn't get the metaphor until Eustace explained it to me; apparently, it's some redneck saying about getting people accustomed to things slowly. The fact that Jeb apparently wants the thing as a permanent member of the community terrifies me. It's like he's given up - like he's forgotten what they are, what they do to people.

Ian is starting to like it. It's disgusting watching him follow it around like a puppy. A retarded, lovesick puppy. Even Eustace will sometimes defend it.

I hope Jared gets over his issues and convinces Jamie to let him kill it soon. Mel deserves a decent burial, not having her body used in this disgusting charade...

* * *

I finish drawing up the basic lesson plans for next week. It's difficult, teaching a group of students with mixed ages, especially since I never intended to go into education. It's my duty, though - I'm the only one in the caves who knows much about mathematics or history, and we have to teach the kids if there's going to be any hope of civilization continuing.

Basic arithmetic. 2+x = 5 means x = 3, that kind of thing. It hurts; the really young ones deserve a dedicated teacher with some kind of educational experience, and the older ones need a more advanced curriculum; we have no textbooks and I know almost nothing about literature beyond what I read on Sparknotes for my papers when I was in school. I think that I'm doing well - everyone can read, at least, and can multiply, divide, add and subtract, but I feel inadequate as a teacher. I have no educational experience, in case you were wondering - I'm just the only one here with a university education that volunteered to teach the kids. Neither Jeb nor Mom have the energy to deal with the kids, and Eustace has to be able to deal with crises at a moment's notice. Ian... wouldn't be good with kids, Jared wasn't here for most of the time, and neither Aaron nor Brandt have even been to college. The other women here are utterly useless - just more mouths to feed, producing nothing and contributing nothing.

I was supposed to be designing bridges by this point in my life, not waiting to die in a hole deep underground in the desert. But someone has to carry on the torch of civilization, and nobody else is stepping up.

**A/N This story just kinda happened. It's short, I know, but this felt like a natural stopping point. I'm strongly considering writing more - if so it will probably alternate between Sharon and Kyle POV as I feel they deserve more than the simple 'you are villainous villains for not placing your trust in the mysterious body-snatcher wearing the body of your relative/friend's girlfriend' treatment that Meyer gave them - Sharon seemed to be the only productive woman in the entirety of the cave system, and in my opinion they were both right not to trust Wanda (even if Sharon did go a little far refusing to accept Wanda late in the book).**

**Knowing me, it'll probably go crazy AU at some point if I do spin it off - probably into a 'what if Wanda had a change of heart' direction, or possibly to show fallout from the events of my other fic Mixed Feelings.**

**Let me know what you think, please!**


End file.
